A picture of Salmon, the inspiration of Salmoning.

The Salmon is the most important and most honorable technique in the Realm of Salmoning. It was first performed by Eugene P. Hardin on October 11, 2 BSE. Described by the Book of the Golden Orb as "the flailing of one's hand inside another one's fishing net, much like that of a salmon."


Once you have found your victim in the fishing net position, the salmoner must sneak up behind them. He or she then inserts their hand into the fishing net. The hand must be moved left and right, hitting the ribcage and the inside of the elbow. The salmoner should manage to hit the victim anywhere from about 10-25 times rapidly and forcefully. Then, the salmoner must then proceed to remove their hand. Also, in accordance with the Rules of Salmoning, he or she must say "salmon" while performing this technique.


To catch a salmon, the catcher must quickly clamp down on it with his or her own arm that is being salmoned. Once the salmon is caught, the person must then proceed to pull the salmon through and break it's "neck" by any means necessary. By breaking its neck, the catcher has now completed his or her task. Most ordinarily, the catcher will release the salmon; but in some rare cases, the catcher may even eat or perform other rituals on the salmon.


When the salmoner is required to escape the catcher after performing the salmon, he or she must pull with the utmost force away from the catcher. The salmoner may bend their arm (unlike a caught swordfish) to escape. However, if the salmoner is performing this technique correctly, there is only a 5-15% chance of getting caught, depending on the skill of the catcher.